With Friends Like These...
Copyright (c) 2001 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
CAST OF CHARACTERS
KIM (Female, early 20’s)
BILLY BOB (Male, 25-35)
JANE (Female, early 20’s)
ERIC (Male, late 20’s)
WAITER (Male, 20’s or 30’s)
SYNOPSIS
Comedy
3 men, 2 women
Eric goes on a blind double date, knowing very little about any of the three people he's with. He learns much more than he hoped to.
ERIC
Hey, how about if you use this time to tell us about… what’s his name.
KIM
Isn’t he great?
ERIC
Well…
KIM
He’s really sweet, and he’s great in bed.
ERIC
We knew about that last part. You keep telling us.
KIM
It’s the only time he takes that hat off. And only when I ask him to.
ERIC
Ah.
JANE
What are you going to tell Susan?
ERIC
Who’s Susan?
KIM
What does it matter?
ERIC
Who’s Susan?
JANE
She’d probably like to know who you’re screwing.
ERIC
Umm… who’s Susan?
KIM
It’s not like it’s really her business.
ERIC
WHO IS SUSAN??
JANE
You didn’t tell Eric about Susan?
KIM
Oh, I guess not.
(To ERIC)
Susan is my girlfriend.
(ERIC is speechless)
She lives in Kentucky, but we were planning to live together when she moved here. In case you haven’t guessed, I’m bi.
ERIC
Well, obviously.
KIM
(To JANE)
I already told her about this… she totally overreacted.
JANE
You did? She did?
KIM
Yeah, she’s all like, “How could you do this” and “I thought you loved me” and she’s crying and shit, but I just told her to chill out. I can sleep with who I want and she has no say in it.
JANE
What’d she say to that?
KIM
Well, we kind of broke up.
ERIC
Sorry to hear that.
JANE
But this… Billy Bob guy is worth it, right?
KIM
Oh, yeah, totally.
JANE
When’s he going home?
KIM
Tomorrow night. I’ve got to take him back to the train station.
JANE
Oh. Do you want to get together after that? Talk about how it all went?
KIM
I’d love to, but I can’t. Right after I drop him off I have to get ready and meet Mark for dinner.
JANE
Who’s Mark?
KIM
Some guy. He’s cute and has a big house. If things go well I may show him my appreciation.
(She sucks her finger)
ERIC
Wait a minute… You’re with this guy you like so much you don’t care that your girlfriend broke up with you, and yet you have a date right after you drop him off… You’re even expecting a little action with this other guy?
KIM
Uh huh. Maybe a lot of action.
(Lights cigarette)
ERIC
How long have you known him?
KIM
Couple of days.
ERIC
I just don’t get it.
JANE
Don’t get what?
ERIC
Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but it doesn’t do much for the old self-esteem that she never even considered dating me.
KIM
We’re just friends, Eric.
ERIC
Yes, I know.
JANE
(Whispering, to ERIC)
Well, do you have money?
ERIC
(Whispering)
Not really, no.
JANE
(Whispering)
Well, there ya go.
KIM
What are you two whispering about?
JANE
Nothing.
ERIC
Just the high price of some things.
KIM
Oh, I know! The price of everything is just outrageous!
ERIC
Some more than others, apparently.
