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The Naked Truth
Copyright © 1993 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
Original Production
By Grosse Pointe Theatre Workshop Program
October 1995
Directed by Ed Thomas
Original Cast
MAN – Tom Casey
WOMAN – Kathleen Lietz
LINDSY – Nancy Fielding
GUEST 1 – Greg Schuller
GUEST 2 – Brian Cressman
GUEST 3 – Susan Kirk
Original Cast as a Full-Length (Oct-Nov 2003 by Broadway Onstage Live Theatre)
MAN – Sal Rubino
WOMAN – Julie Brock
LINDSY – Karen Minard
GUEST 1 – Demetris Taylor
GUEST 2 – Christopher Oakley
GUEST 3 – Sharyn Tadolini
SYNOPSIS
Comedy
3 men, 3 women
Two lovers rent a room to get away for the day. The woman's mother finds her anyway, with news about her father.
WOMAN
Now may I tell you again what a lovely room you picked out for us?
MAN
You may.
WOMAN
However did you get it?
MAN
It was the only one available.
WOMAN
I think we’ve stayed in every hotel in the city. And around the city for that matter.
MAN
It’s pretty close.
WOMAN
But this is probably the nicest place we’ve stayed.
MAN
Well, there is a sort of occasion here.
(WOMAN lets go of him and sits back, surprised and expectant)
WOMAN
An occasion? Are we having an anniversary or something?
MAN
No, it’s…
WOMAN
Don’t tell me, don’t tell me.
(Thinks)
Oh my God! You… you’re not going to propose, are you?
MAN
Propose?
(Gets nervous and stands)
No no no no. Well, actually it’s good news and it’s bad news. You’d better sit down.
WOMAN
I am sitting.
MAN
(Turns, sees her)
Then stand up.
(She stands)
Now sit.
(She sits)
Okay. The bad news first. This is the last time we can see each other for a couple of weeks.
WOMAN
What? Why not?
MAN
(Comes to her)
It’s okay. Settle down.
WOMAN
The good news had better be damn good.
MAN
It is, it is.
(Sitting beside her again)
I’ve been selected by some committee to be an official campaign photographer for the president! I’m going to Washington for a couple of weeks. I leave Monday.
WOMAN
This isn’t an election year.
MAN
But next year is. It’s a pre-campaign shoot. You won’t believe what they’re paying me.
WOMAN
That’s wonderful! So how much?
MAN
How much what?
WOMAN
Don’t play dumb. How much are they paying you?
MANv
Well, actually, they never actually told me exactly what they were paying me, actually.
WOMAN
Could you have fit any more “actuallys” in that sentence?
MAN
(Edging close)
What I’m saying is that we are celebrating one last day together.
WOMAN
“One last day?” You’re only going for a couple of weeks.
MAN
Yes, but we’ve never been separated for that long. I wanted this day to be especially memorable.
(He starts kissing her, rising and thus forcing her to rise as well. WOMAN’s next line is broken up between short kisses)
WOMAN
Yes, honey, I want to more than anything, you know that.
(Puts a finger to his lips)
But I’m hungry. You know I can’t on an empty stomach. Where are the donuts you went for?
MAN
The donuts? Oh, the donuts! I was in such a rush, I dropped them when I came out of the elevator. I’ll go and get them.
