The Jumper
© 2008 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
CHARACTERS
WOMAN
STRANGER
SYNOPSIS
Comedy
1 woman, 1 either
A woman about to jump off of a bridge is met by a very strange stranger.
STRANGER
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
WOMAN
No, I’m not crazy! I’m going to jump. And don’t give me any of that crap about how I have so much to live for and how things will get better and blah, blah, blah… I’ve heard it so many times, I’m surprised I haven’t done this sooner just to get them to shut up. So save the sermon.
STRANGER
I wasn’t planning on giving you one.
WOMAN
Good.
STRANGER
It’s just… Well, you don’t have an appointment.
WOMAN
An appointment? Was there a bridge-jumper maitre d’ around here I overlooked?
STRANGER
I guess in some strange way of looking at it, that would be me.
WOMAN
So you stand around here waiting for people to come along and asking if they have a reservation?
STRANGER
No, no. I don’t just stand here. I work all over. You see, I’m Death.
WOMAN
Death? As in the Grim Reaper?
STRANGER
Please, don’t call me that. I can’t stand that name; it’s so depressing.
(Pulls out a book and opens it)
And I do not have you anywhere in my appointment book.
