I Saw Mommy
Copyright © 2009 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
CHARACTERS
CHILD
MOMMY
DADDY
SANTA
COP
SYNOPSIS
Comedy
2 men, 1 woman, 2 either
We all know that someone saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. But what happened afterward?
MOMMY (Offstage)
Now you stay in bed and have a good night sweetie. You know that Santa is always watching you, right?
CHILD (Offstage)
Yes, Mommy.
(The sound of a door closing and MOMMY comes downstairs. She is in her robe and looks ready to relax)
MOMMY
(Sighs)
And now for some “me” time.
(She disappears into the kitchen. A moment later, a CHILD in his pajamas appears on the stairs. He creeps slowly and quietly down, stopping near the bottom. He looks around for a moment, and then at the audience. He puts a finger to his lips to tell them to be quiet. He then starts to sing softly)
CHILD
(Singing)
I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She didn’t see me creep
Down the stairs to have a peep.
She thought I was tucked up
In my bedroom fast asleep.
(MOMMY returns from the kitchen sipping a cup of eggnog. She stops in the doorway and leans against it in some sort of daydream. She doesn’t notice the CHILD or the singing)
CHILD (Cont’d)
(Singing)
Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white.
Oh, what a laugh it would’ve been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!
(There is a sudden sound of jingle bells and a thump on the roof. Both MOMMY and CHILD look up at the ceiling)
CHILD (Cont’d)
It looks like it might happen again!
(The CHILD crouches lower and watches MOMMY. MOMMY gets a smile on her face, puts her cup down on the table and primps herself a bit. A moment passes. There is a nearby thud and SANTA enters, carrying a large sack. He sees MOMMY and approaches her)
SANTA
Ho, ho, ho! It seems we have someone out of bed.
(CHILD tries not to panic, hoping SANTA doesn’t mean him. He starts to shake his head in disbelief. SANTA doesn’t notice him however)
MOMMY
Sorry, Santa. I haven’t had a chance to get to bed yet.
(CHILD sighs in relief, knowing he is safe for now)
SANTA
And look where you’re standing!
(MOMMY looks up and sees the mistletoe. She feigns ignorance)
MOMMY
(A bad lie)
Oh my! I didn’t even realize that was there!
(“Giving in”)
Well, I guess you know what that means.
(SANTA drops his sack and kisses her. When he starts to pull away, she grabs him and kisses him more deeply. Finally the kiss ends, but they stay close together)
SANTA
Out of bed at this hour… You are a naughty girl, aren’t you?
MOMMY
Yes, I’m naughty! So very, very naughty!
(She tickles him under his beard and they start kissing again)
CHILD
(To the audience)
See! I told you!
