Don't Tell Me You L)ve Me Until the Second Date
© 2002 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
Characters
SEAN (Male, Late 20’s)
ALICE (Female, Early 20’s)
ZOË (Female, Mid 20’s)
BOB (Male, 65+)
GEORGE (Male, 60-70)
PAULA (Female, 50-60)
FRANK (Male, 25-35)
MOLLY (Female, 55-65)
WAITRESS (Female, 21+)
SYNOPSIS
Comedy
4 men, 5 women
After a blind date goes a little too well, Sean quickly discovers he's in over his head when it turns out his date is obsessed with him.
ALICE
Still, I mean it when I say thank you for coming.
SEAN
Okay, okay. You’ve said it already. I get it.
ALICE
I don’t think you do.
SEAN
Really?
ALICE
Really.
(Pause)
SEAN
(After pause)
Were you going to elaborate on that?
ALICE
It’s just that… you know I love you and we’ve been going out for more than a week and you haven’t said it back to me.
SEAN
And I’ve been trying to make you understand that I can’t do that. I don’t feel that way right now.
ALICE
I know…
SEAN
And I think you only think you love me because we went to bed so quickly. So I want to apologize and tell you it was a mistake. We should have waited.
ALICE
Well, maybe we should have waited, I’ll agree with you there. But you think that the sex is why I love you?
SEAN
Well, you did tell me right after…
ALICE
You are good, Sean, but that’s not it.
SEAN
Are you sure of that?
ALICE
Yes! Do you remember when I first called you?
SEAN
Yeah, it was a couple of days before we actually met.
ALICE
When I first heard your voice, I knew you were my true love.
(Long pause)
SEAN
(Shocked, a little frightened)
Really?
ALICE
Really. Would I lie to you?
SEAN
(Still shocked)
Well, no, um, I don’t know, I guess not…
ALICE
So there you go. I really and truly love you, dear.
SEAN
But I think you should rethink that.
ALICE
(Getting emotional)
I don’t need to rethink it, Sean.
SEAN
You know I’m not ready to say it back. We aren’t even dating exclusively.
ALICE
(Suddenly accusatory)
Oh, so you’re seeing someone else.
SEAN
No, I’m not. I didn’t say that…
ALICE
Who is she? Is she pretty?
SEAN
I’m not seeing anyone else right now, Alice!
ALICE
Oh, okay. I believe you.
SEAN
Good.
ALICE
But you better not be thinking of seeing anyone else.
SEAN
Really? And why not?
ALICE
(Giggles)
Because you’re mine.
SEAN
Oh I am, am I?
(Laughs, as he thinks she’s joking)
ALICE
I’m not kidding.
