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	<font face="Poor Richard" size="7">
    	<b>Correctly Political</b>
        <br />
    </font>
    <font face="Times New Roman" size="3">
	© 2011 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
    </font>
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<p class="info">
<strong>CHARACTERS</strong>
<br />
ELI<br />
DEVON<br />
LIA<br />
AMIR<br />
RAQUEL<br />
TARA<br />
</p>

<p class="info">
<strong>SYNOPSIS</strong>
<br />
Comedy<br />
3 men, 3 women<br />
A diverse group of senators' aides is tasked with governing political correctness in the United States. Their mission: to eliminate everythig offensive from society. But how far will they go when everything is offensive to someone?
</p>
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
Buenos dias, everybody! What’s new today?<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
I just found out that Eli is a racist.<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
What!? Eli!<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
I didn’t…<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
He called me a spade!<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
Eli! How could you?<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
I couldn’t! I didn’t!<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
Wait until Senator Brennan hears about this. You’ll probably lose your job.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
But I didn’t do anything!<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Yes, you did.<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
He says you did.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
Can you please let me explain?<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
Good morning, everyone.<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
Eli’s a racist.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
What? No, I don’t believe it.<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Well, you should.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
I’ve never seen any evidence of that.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
Thank you!<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
Are you sure he’s racist? Maybe you just misinterpreted something.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
That’s what I’ve been trying to say!<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
He called me a spade.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
Oh. Well, that’s different then.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
I didn’t call anyone—!<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
Hello!<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
Hi, Lia.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
Apparently Eli is a racist.<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
Oh. I can’t say I’m surprised.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
What?!<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
Come on, Eli. You know.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
No, I don’t. I am currently at a state of seriously not knowing anything, and I certainly don’t know what you’re talking about. I have always treated you – and everyone else – with the utmost respect.<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Until this morning.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
I already know why you think I’m racist, Devon.<br />
(To LIA)<br />
But why do you? I’ve never said anything…<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
It’s the way you look at me.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
How do I look at you? How do I possibly look at you like a racist?<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
I’ve never once seen you check me out.<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
You know, I’ve never seen it either.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
So?<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
So why have you never checked me out? Is it because you don’t like Asians?<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
That’s ridiculous!<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
You know, now that you mention it, I’ve never seen him check me out, either.<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Of course not! You’re not white.<br />
<br />
RAQUEL<br />
(To ELI)<br />
All I can say is you racists don’t know what you’re missing.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
May I interject something?<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Sure.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
I’d also like to—<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Not now, racist. Amir’s talking.<br />
(To AMIR)<br />
Go ahead.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
The fact that Eli hasn’t “checked out” either of these women doesn’t necessarily prove that he’s a racist.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
Thank you. This is a professional environment after all, and—<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
Maybe he’s just gay.<br />
<br />
ELI<br />
What?<br />
<br />
LIA<br />
I could totally see that.<br />
<br />
AMIR<br />
Then again, I’ve never seen him check me out, either.<br />
<br />
DEVON<br />
Of course not. He only goes for white guys.<br />
<br />

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