About Last Knight
Copyright (c) 1991 by Edward J. Thomas, all rights reserved
CAST OF CHARACTERS
NARRATOR
KING FREDDIE FORRADAYE
PRINCE DANIEL FORRADAYE
PRINCE LESTER FORRADAYE
SQUIRE
PRINCESS PRINCESS FORRADAYE
COUNT TOOTENN
JESTER
SIR TENLEY KNOTT
SOWTHA FRRANCE
SYNOPSIS
Comedy
7 men, 1 woman, 2 either gender
The sequel to Once a Pun a Time, because Happily Ever After just doesn't last. Sir Coom's brother arrives to take revenge on Sir Tenley.
TENLEY
(Big yawn)
When is this going to get under way? I'd like to get back to bed.
COUNT
It shouldn't be long now.
KING
Yes, it's probably almost noon now.
TENLEY
Well, what time is it, exactly?
COUNT
Darned if I know.
TENLEY
Why don't you know?
KING
Well, it'll be a couple of centuries before digital watches are invented.
TENLEY
Oh. Yes, of course.
(Yawn)
What was I thinking?
KING
The squire could probably tell you.
TENLEY
Tell me what?
KING
What you were thinking.
TENLEY
Ah.
(Yawn. NARRATOR stands and interrupts)
NARRATOR
Um, just a thought, guys. A minute ago I said no one got any sleep. How come Tenley is the only one acting tired?
COUNT
That's a good question.
(SQUIRE enters R)
KING
(Seeing SQUIRE)
Here comes the good answer.
SQUIRE
Actually, the plot, as it were, only calls for Sir Tenley to be overtired. The loss of sleep doesn't need to affect anyone else.
(SQUIRE exits R)
KING
He's got a point.
NARRATOR
(Mumbles as he begrudgingly sits)
Damn blasted know-it-all.
TENLEY
What time is it now?
KING
I just told you, digital watches...
COUNT
Here comes trouble.
(DANIEL, LESTER, and SOWTHA enter R. SOWTHA has the same gear that TENLEY does)
SOWTHA
(With a quick, meaningless bow)
Your majesty.
KING
What?
DANIEL
It was just a greeting, Father.
KING
Oh. Is that all?
SOWTHA
No, it's not all. I was going to wait here for the contest to start, but since
(Says the word with utter distaste)
HE is here, I think I'll wait somewhere else. Come on, Prince Lester.
LESTER
Who am I all of a sudden? Your personal lackey?
DANIEL
Well, you were always personally lacking something.
LESTER
Don't start, Danny Boy, don't start!
(TENLEY falls down, asleep and unnoticed)
DANIEL
Too late! I started years ago and I can't stop now! You make it too easy!
(LESTER lunges at him and they try to tear each other apart. KING and COUNT separate them)
SOWTHA
I assume you can't take them anywhere.
KING
You got that right. You should have seen it when... Well, let's just say I'm the only monarch ever to be thrown out of his own theater.
LESTER
He's the one who did it.
DANIEL
Did not!
LESTER
Did too!
KING
That is enough already!
COUNT
(Pointing at TENLEY)
This is all very amusing, but shouldn't we wake him up?
